Okay. If you want to watch this, know this movie is extremely aware of how cheesy it is. With that being said, this movie is so amazingly B that it's epically amazing. I love horror movies, I love horror movies that are crazily cheesy even more. The acting in this is so bad. The script is terrible. The effects are awful, but this movie is fantastic. Don't take it seriously. With a tagline like: Volunteer work is killer, how you can you not be intrigued? If you like movies like the horror films: Black Sheep, Evil Dead, and Bubba Ho-Tep, this movie is right up your alley!! The people who made this film know exactly what they were doing. Seriously, if you can't handle a ridiculous horror film-- don't watch this. IF YOU DO-- watch it!!

Labels: 4 star film, horror movie, movie review

The Bling Ring

If I believed in Jesus, I would be praying to Jesus to have the time spent watching this film back. This movie was SO bad. I love Emma Watson, but the poor dear girl was cast in a terrible.... terrible film. All the main characters sound like they are high 95% of the time. It's punishment to sit and watch. I don't understand how such a good movie premise ended up being such a lousy film. You have all these kids who rob celebrities. Sounds like a good idea......... just like lots of Mexican food is a good idea right up until you make a visit to the bathroom later on. This movie was so painful to sit through. The acting was bad, the script was HORRIBLE, and the movie looked like a washed out mess. Seriously save yourself the money on this. It was just terrible. I can't even say ENOUGH bad things about it. Marie Antoinette was really good, so I felt I could trust Sofia Coppola. *Sigh* Also the people who this movie is based on see like shitty people... so yeah.

Labels: 1 star film, movie review, shitty movie, the bling ring

My husband and I saw this last week and I want to weigh in on why I think this is/was a pretty good film and why it was not. Firstly, I dragged my husband to this and he liked it. I dragged him to Hunger Games and a Twilight film; he mentally blocked out Twilight: Eclipse and doesn't remember seeing it. Good call. He wasn't that impressed with The Hunger Games. He just thinks Jennifer Lawrence is hot, so he had eyecandy for a couple hours. I have been reading and seeing a lot of articles on this film and some of them are unjustified. The most common being: This is another Twilight rip off.

This is ANOTHER Twilight Rip-Off

No, not really. If you delve enough into reading books, you are going to find that there are common threads that exist in many YA and Adult plotlines. If you go into the paranormal genre you are going to find a lot more. So now we have a YA/Paranormal fiction book. From what I have been reading Cassandra Clare apparently ripped whole chunks of some Harry Potter fan fiction online. While this may be the case, that's not for me to say. I just want to examine why I think this was a good film. Back on the Twilight comparison. Twilight had little to no substance story wise. I read the books before they became films or at least the first few anyways. I enjoyed them because they were time passers. If you don't think too much, they are books you can enjoy at face value. If you do start thinking about it-- there are some enormous plot holes, like you could park your car in. With that aside, Bella is a superficial twat. Excuse my language. Robert Pattinson said it best:

And I DO believe that Stephenie Meyer as a few nuts loose. I think the reason why this novel appealed to so many people was because of its simplicity. The overall story arc wasn't that complicated. But, Mortal Instruments IS complicated and makes you think. While it borrows from a lot of fragmented legend and mythology, it does come together in a fluid way.

Why I think the film was good

The pg-13 rating really did it for me. They are able to be a little bold with this movie. They weren't specifically targeting tweens. They stuck to the story pretty well and kept you hooked through the whole film. There wasn't a whole lot of angst-y staring and time fillers. It was balls to the wall action and intrigue. I was really dismayed that Jamie Campbell Bower would be playing Jace, but he really did a great job bringing that character to life.

What I didn't like

The blatant cheesiness of the blossoming relationship between Clary and Jace. It was cheesy. I will just come out and say it. It made me uncomfortable and even the raunchiest of sex doesn't furrow my brow. It was just awkward. There is one point where they were in Jace's rooftop garden and everything was all sparkly... It just detracted from the tone of the movie. Their relationship felt forced in the film.

Labels: Cassandra Clare, City of Bones movie review, movie review

Oz: The Great and Powerful was a movie that I wasn’t looking forward to, or expecting, but I enjoyed it all the same. James Franco plays Oz, a conman. He is working in a travelling circus, but his act isn’t very good. In standard Wizard of Oz fashion, a twister sweeps Oz away to…Oz. This is a bit disconcerting at first. The CGI is so badly done, that it takes away that moment of grand awe and beauty. The colors are vibrant and beautiful, but the lifelessness and dull textures instantly make you think “fake”. I remember the first time seeing the Wizard of Oz and Dorothy’s world came into color, wow. That moment still sticks with me. She really wasn’t in Kansas anymore. Although the backdrops of the original movie were nothing but painted scenes, the land of Oz still had a very realistic life of its own without all the cgi and effects of the new “OZ”. The overdone world of the new Oz somehow takes focus off the wonders of the world itself. Kids may enjoy the overdone gaudy cgi, but I enjoy a more simple manmade feel.  What shines in this movie, is not the computer generated world, but the characters themselves. Oz is cheeky and every bit the salesman you would expect, but he learns to think of more than him once he is hit with two evil witches to defeat. The witches are played by Mila Kunis and Rachel Weisz, and they are both played wonderfully. Another thing that made the rating on this movie raise for me, was the costume designs. They were very well done and fun to look at. So while the cgi detracts from the movie, the story and characters make up for the less than impressive imagined world.

Labels: 4 star film, family movie, fantasy movie, movie review

When his pregnant fiancee becomes the latest victim of a serial killer, a secret agent blurs the line between good and evil in his pursuit of revenge.

I will start off by saying this movie was such a breath of fresh air. I LOVE foreign films because they seem to have way more substance. I also love horror/thriller movies. This one was quite the ride. Kim Soo-hyeon (played by Byung-hun Lee)  is a man whose wife gets murdered in a very sadistic way. He is a secret operative and pretty much goes off the grid to seek revenge. We know who the killer is from the beginning of the movie pretty much, he is crazy and manipulative. This movie is gruesome and there were so many cringe worthy moments. I would say don’t watch this movie is you can’t handle violent movies. This movie is extremely violent and gory. Watching Kim Soo-hyeon get his revenge is nothing short of jaw dropping. He becomes this cold sadistic beacon for revenge. This movie makes you feel so uncomfortable that is borders on brilliance. This overall is a fantastic movie. The mood is right, the acting is awesome. Byung-hun Lee makes you feel everything he feels.  If you love foreign thrillers, check this out! I haven't seen a movie this good in awhile.

*Note* This movie is VERY VERY VERY violent.

Rating: R
Language: Korean
Nudity: ✓
Cursing: ✓
Human Deaths: ✓
Animal Deaths: X
Runtime: 141 Min.
Will I cry? No but you will cringe.


X= NO  ✓= YES

Labels: 5 star film, I saw the devil, movie review

After R (a highly unusual zombie) saves Julie from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion a sequence of events that might transform the entire lifeless world.

I saw this movie last night in theaters. I have to say this is a great movie. At its core this movie is a love story. A love story between R and Julie. R is a zombie who is walking around going through the motions. He then sees Julie, a cute blonde whose father is the head of the state or something. R eats Julie’s boyfriend and then takes Julie. He falls in love with her. He slowly starts getting back his humanity, then all the other zombies start to get theirs back as well. The real problem is the zombies who have become ‘bonies’ . They don’t like what R has started and are hunting him. This isn't the real premise of the movie. It really really is a love story. It’s not about R being chased by bonies, or him even being a zombie. It’s about his love he doesn’t understand. The performance that Nicholas Hoult gives is so simplistic, but so inspired. He conveys so much through his expressions or lack thereof. I was so glad that the movie didn’t have a lot of Dave Franco. Me and my husband once joked about him going to the James Franco school of acting before we knew that he was James Franco’s brother. The girl who plays Julie, Teresa Palmer, gave a really great performance as well. I really enjoyed how cute this movie was. It’s simple, but effective. If you get a chance to watch it, do it. It’s great. Not to mention Nicholas Hoult is freaking hot. Sorry, I had to get fan-girlish there for a hot second. Not to mention he used to date my girl crush Jennifer Lawrence.

Stars:

 Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, John Malkovich

Labels: 5 star film, movie review, Nicholas Hoult, Warm Bodies

A young girl buys an antique box at a yard sale, unaware that inside the collectible lives a malicious ancient spirit. The girl's father teams with his ex-wife to find a way to end the curse upon their child.

Director: 

Ole Bornedal

Writers: 

Juliet Snowden, Stiles White, and 1 more credit »

Stars:

 Natasha Calis, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Kyra Sedgwick | See full cast and crew


This movie may rely on simple horror techniques, but it tells a good story anyways. This movie tells of a divorced father and his two girls. When the family stops at a yard sale, one of the daughters are drawn to a small box. The youngest daughter Em opens the box and begins to act all weird. She actually stabs her fathers hand with a fork. I think the father didn't really act like someone who got stabbed by their young child. I mean I would be like.... OH BOY YOU ARE GETTING COUNSELING! But no, he is just like.. okay you just aren't acting like yourself. If that was me I would be horrified! Anywho, Em becomes fully posessed by said box and acts like every creepy little girl in a movie. I liked a lot of the creepy elements about this, and I liked that there is a box that actually exists that is supposedly haunted. The film says it's based on a true story, but obviously that can be taken with the teeniest tiniest grain of salt. I liked it. It wasn't the most original and wasn't really scary, but I enjoyed all the different myths in it. Here is a link to the wikipedia page talking about a similar box called a Dybbuk Box.

Labels: 4 star film, movie review, The Posession

In 2074, when the mob wants to get rid of someone, the target is sent 30 years into the past, where a hired gun awaits. Someone like Joe, who one day learns the mob wants to 'close the loop' by transporting back Joe's future self.

I want to say right off that I loved Joseph Gordon Levitt. He has matured into this awesome actor. I had no idea what this movie was about going into it. So I was very pleasantly surprised. JGL plays Joe a 'Looper'. In the year 2074 it's very hard to get away with murdering someone. Time travel has also been invented. So the mob employs loopers. The mob send their hits to the past where the looper is waiting to kill them and dispose of a body. In the past the body doesn't technically exist, so it's easy stuff. When Joe is surprised by the hit at his feet. The man he must kill is his future self (Bruce Willis). It turns out that future Joe is a pretty pathetic guy. When the two Joe's are battling 30 years in the past, it gives the true meaning to battling yourself. Future old man Joe wants to prevent the death of his wife, future young Joe wants to prevent Joe from killing the person who killed his wife in the future. Trust me, I know that is probably the most confusing thing you ever read, but this movie is so good.  Bruce Willis and Joseph G L. are really amazing it. Seriously take the time to watch this one. It's really really good!

Vault Watch Dog

Rating: R
Nudity: ✓
Cursing: ✓
Human Deaths: ✓
Animal Deaths: X
Runtime: 119 Min.
Will I cry?.. Maybe. I didn't and I cry for everything lol.\

X= NO  ✓= YES

Labels: Hot guy day, Looper, movie review

A post-apocalyptic tale of a man and his son trying to survive by any means possible.

 

Labels: 5 star film, movie review, The Road, Viggo Mortensen

Six years after Earth has suffered an alien invasion a cynical journalist agrees to escort a shaken American tourist through an infected zone in Mexico to the safety of the US border.

IMDB






I have been trying to get my husband to watch this for ages because it was on a list of movies that were supposed to be really good. This movie is about a photographer that is assigned to get his bosses daughter back home to the United States. They are in Mexico and the whole top part of Mexico is 'infected' by aliens. If you have patience of steel, you can watch this one. This movie is very slow! There really isn't too much going on. So the photographer guy buys a ticket for the girl to get home on a boat, but in a drunken night of debauchery, someone steals their passports. They have to take the route through the infected zone. You would think that for this premise the movie would be a little more actiony, but it's not. It's literally just staring and a few scenes of crazy squid-like alien things. I thought this was an okay movie for what it was,but just know it's really slow.Also pay attention to the beginning of the movie, I actually had to re-watch the beginning because [SPOILER UPCOMING] the beginning is the end of the movie.

Labels: movie review

A couple's wedding day turns into a horrific events as some of the guests start showing signs of a strange illness.

THIS IS A SPANISH LANGUAGE MOVIE!

This movie actually starts out pretty promising, cinema verite are my favorite of horror films, I know some would disagree with me, but I LOVE THEM. So I have seen the other 2( I will have reviews at a later date) So it starts out with your typical hand-held style film, when all hell breaks loose. Uncle has a secret, he wasn't bit by a dog, he obviously was bit by something a bit more flesh eating. Then it changes to a good old normal filmed movie. That was a bit surprising since the other two were completely handheld cameras. So crap has hit the fan. This was a pretty decent movie for awhile, then it started to get really cheesy! At one point the bride uses a chainsaw to cut half of gown off. I still can't figure out why she only cut half of it off, seems weird. I don't know, the first one was outstanding, the second one was okay, this one was kind of cringe-worthy  I guess you can watch it if you have nothing better to do. But remember it's really cheesy towards the end.

Labels: horror movie, movie review, zombies

Okay saw this the other night. I just want to say that up until this point I have not really been all that impressed with the movies. I liked the books A LOT when I did not know better.I still enjoy the books, but I found as time has progressed, the writing is not that great. I am not going to go into detail about what the movie is about, obviously we know what it's about. The very first thing that scared the living crap out of me was the CGI baby in this movie. I mean good GOD. It was the scariest thing. They seriously couldn't have used a real baby? I have seen really cute real babies in movies. This one was terrifying. Here... here is a picture.

Labels: movie review, twilight